STICKYJOURNAL

it's hard to believe that a feels something for b that he never felt for c because it's all out there on the internet.

i guess im nosy but im bored bored bored and it's there there there.

i want to be a carpenter. or at least learn how to make stuff out of wood.

my name is molly, im your biggest fan.

the other day charlie and i were showering and we look down and there's a penny, a wet penny, heads up. right in the shower.


that's a good sign.

uh oh

i feel so out of it with everyone.

and it's not because of charlie.

it's because of work/class.

today i saw the biggest douchebags of all time at fort reno. they were drinking alcohol in glass bottles and barking at my dog. i asked them to stop and they were rude.

so i reported them to the police.

i am such a misanthrope.

you've alienated yourself. you've done it to yourself. it's your fault.

so you can get back to feeling sorry for yourself.

it's weird when things end.

it's melancholy.

the school year is ending. ill never have a class with maggie or eloise again. ill never see molly while im walking to my 7th period free again. ill never get to go running again with kathleen after school.

i feel like many of my friendships are over. because i cant do it anymore, you know? i cant be the only one. but it's sad when i look at how much effort i put in, and then when i stop it just burns out. sometimes i feel like i wasted my time, energy, and love. because i loved these people, i really did. i would have given each one of them anything. but i truly believe that all of this love will return to me. not through them, necessarily, but it will. it already does.

things are ending, but some new things are beginning. and one thing that i know will never change is me. it's nice to know, sometimes, that i can never get rid of myself.

no, things are going to change - that starts today.

i cannot believe that you of all people would waste so much effort on analyzing this.

you think you're so mature and better than everyone, yet you remember every word and you have clearly spent a lot of time mulling over it.

and you wish that all this shit you were making up in your head and telling everyone was actually true.

there's so much drama in this world already, why dont you pick a real cause to get worked up about?

"si je vous disais un jour, peut etre, que je vous aimais, ca vous donnerais le plaisir?"

"bien sur...bien sur"

i wish someone would give me flowers.

i am so frustrated i could scream.


i just feel immense regret.

something is wrong with me.

you are so spoiled. and i cant give you any more attention because you never appreciate it.

some day everyone will get sick of it. and you can see that it's already happening.

all i have to say is

it's the age of the chemicals.


and i hate pretty much everyone who doesnt go to visitation. which is an interesting twist.

a new challenge - it feels like old times.

i hate when people say "later" instead of bye.

this song makes me feel strong.

that's pretty dumb but it's true.

i love charlie. he's so fun. he's funny too. and he is such a great friend. but he's also so fun to kiss. and he turns me on. and i turn him on. and i just want to hang out with him and have fun with him. and maybe someday i'll be able to call him mine and he'll be able to call me his.

but for now, all i want is to go on another date with him.

i feel bad for picking fights or whatever. i've been silly and he's been silly and i think we've been silly because we like each other a lot and we're worried. but fuckkkkkkkkk im so sick of being worried. and so im not going to worry. im going to have fun at my date with him. and kiss him.

i totally love charlie, but im not in love with him. im just not. im a junior in high school, and he's a freshman in high school, and we're just having fun together. maybe something great can happen out of it, but no matter what happens we're going to have fun while it unfolds.

we've both been driving each other crazy with one another's neuroses. i feel like i need to be more understanding, he doesnt mean to hurt me so it shouldnt hurt. and i tell him when i have an issue and he is so understanding. we're good because we can talk. we just need to stop trying to find things to talk about.